Hello All! Continuing on my streak of posting more than once every couple of months. I must it's extremely hard. However, I push through the pain and write. All for you.
Feel special? You should.
So recently, I have decided to...well..."break-up" with someone who used to be one of my best friends. (I don't feel like getting into that story right now, however if you're truly dying of curiosity, let me know and I may tell you the the story...or not. Haven't decided yet. But that's besides the point.)
Now in the aftermath I find myself conflicted and confused on a few points. I mean, come on. There are so many sites on how to dump your BF/GF. Along with the rules of post break-ups. But does that count with people you haven't jumped into bed with?
I've always held the firm belief that when you break up with someone you're in a romantic relationship with, it should be in person, or at the very least the phone. Breaking up by text or email is just grimy. But when it came down to my BFF dumpage, I wasn't fond of the idea of calling and instead it happened via AIM.
Does that make me grimy too? Or does the fact that we weren't romantically inclined save me from the normal break-up etiquette?
And if I am held to similar etiquette, what does that mean in terms of Facebook and in returning items?
Do you un-friend said person and his/her friends as well? Do you un-tag yourself from their photos? Where's the friend relationship status? I sincerely wish that Mark Zuckerburg would allow our un-friending to be on a newsfeed.
It can be done, I'm sure. If I'm in a fight with someone, I want to be able to say at the moment my friendship with some is "complicated." Maybe I'm "engaged" in a lively conversation with a friend. Or I'm "married" to my friend in the sense that I can not for the life of me escape this person.
If I have to read that "Susie Smith and Marky Michaelson are now friends" on Facebook, or that "Catie O'Hara is now single" shouldn't I be able to read that two people are no longer friends?
Maybe I don't want to be friends with that person either.
Maybe one of them did something terrible like rob a bank or stab a puppy, and the mass amount of people un-friending this person on Facebook is the only clue I have to disassociate with that him or her before the cops come.
You may scoff, but think about it.
What about a more general example.
Suppose you are casual friends with two people who are relatively close. Without you knowing, the two friends have had a falling out. And you post funny things on both their walls, not having the faintest clue what's happening. Next thing you know, you're getting a call or email from one or both of these people asking why you're still friends with them. As if you had any idea. (And don't say "oh my friends would never make me choose" or "my friends would know that I had no idea," because they won't. Friends are dumb like that. That's why they're your friends.)
So now you're put on the spot to choose. And if you're not prepared for such an onslaught, you may end up saying something stupid and being down two friends. As opposed to if you read it on Facebook first and could think to yourself, "Okay so Tammy and Denise aren't speaking anymore. I better make sure I'm prepared for any comments and stories they may say about each other."
Wouldn't that be so much easier? Plus it would help Tammy's friends and Denise's friends know that they are no longer required to be friends with that person if they do not want to be. (And don't lie, you know that there's at least one person in your life that if your bf, bff, sister, etc. started hating, you would be the first one to un-friend his/her profile. Friends by association can be an annoying thing.)
But of course, Facebook doesn't have that. So I'm left with the decision on how good manners work in this case.
Personally, I think that no matter what the relationship, as soon as a person says it's over the dumpee should be the one to delete all the profiles, associations, and memories of that person. They should ask for their stuff back if they want it. And give the dumper the space that he or she asked for. It may seem like I'm making the dumpee do a lot of work, but trust me, it's better this way. It's therapeutic. Plus, hey, they may want to be the first to note these changes. And since you've already done damage with your decision, what the hell. Toss them that bone.
If after a reasonable amount of time, they don't disconnect all contact and stuff, do it yourself so you can squash any nugget of hope that may be lingering in their hearts.
I'm sorry if that sounds cruel. But breaking up is hard to do. If you couldn't stand being a little mean, then you wouldn't be dumping a person in the first place.
I don't think the actual "break-up" needs to be in person, so long as you use the same keys words that everyone knows means bad shit is gunna happen. ("we need to talk," "I've been doing a lot of thinking," "You know this thing between us..." etc.) then it's fine.
And as for the stuff that's taking up space in my room, I'm gunna wait until said person asks for it. After all, if they really wanted it back, they would have no problems asking for it. It's their right. And who could ever pass up an opportunity to tell someone, "give me my sh*t back,"?
But what do you think?
What are the rules for dumping when it's a friend and not a lover?
***Please note that these are my beliefs when you're dumping a friend or a person that you just no longer have any connection with. Not a person that like hit you or cheated on you or was an overall jackass. For those people, there's a whole other set of rules. But that's better left for another post.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
11 Ways to Enjoy New York
Hey two people who care. I'm actually blogging again. What's this? Twice in two weeks? Is this a turning point in my blog-life?...Doubt it. But it's okay. You can just enjoy my presence while it lasts and then weep when I once again leave you for months at a time.
Have I depressed you yet? Good.
Here's some more depressing news. I was planning on writing a wonderful post about Twitter, but unfortunately I was not able to create a suitable image to help illustrate my point. And without an image, the point is moot.
I'm sorry all. I apologize for my ineptitude. I tried. Perhaps someday I'll get my act together and install Photoshop or inDesign into my laptop. But alas, today is not that day. And you'll have to live with the knowledge that you came oh so close to knowing what my views on the site are only to have your hopes ripped away in an instant.
Can you live with that knowledge? Too bad.
Instead my friends I am going to talk about something different.
For those of you that don't know, I am from NYC (that's New York City for you geographically challenged). And many times while walking through the city, I will contemplate the difference between us natives and those visiting the city. I'm amazed at how we as a city are labeled as rude and mean. And then ponder on why tourists all seem incredibly simple-minded. These stereotypes can't be accurate, can they?
Well I have arrived at a conclusion. They are. But only to an extent. Because dear reader it is my belief that while we all may be human, New Yorkers are entirely different creatures than the average person, and therefore should be approached in a different manner. So for you non-New Yorkers, this post is for you.
1. Understand this. The sidewalk is like the street, only for pedestrians. There are invisible lanes of fast walkers (99% of New Yorkers) going one way, and fast walkers going the other way. If you want to stop and look at a building, walk your ass all the way over to the edge of the sidewalk near the street. I swear, you'll get less glares if you don't block people's way.
2. On a similar note, do not stop in the middle of the street to (a) look at a map, (b) take pictures or (c) look up at the skyscrapers. New Yorkers are multitaskers. We're often on the phone, carrying coffee, holding bags, and walking 12 blocks to work at the same time. We don't want to have to be on the lookout for roadblocking tourists also.
3. If you are going to go around the city with a group of people, learn to walk like ants. Form a line of some sort, one behind the other. Too often, I will have to walk into the street and around parked cars because a group of young ladies has decided to form their own Red Rover line across the sidewalk. Please don't make me run through you.
4. Calm down with the photos. We understand New York is beautiful. But you don't need to take 15 photos of the same building in an instant. The Empire State Building isn't going to run away, nor change shape like a Transformer. So give that shutter button a break.
5. If you see something bizarre or kinda freaky, pretend like you don't. There's nothing ruder than a person doing a 360 neck-breaking head jerk to stare at someone's appearance. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate one of them looking at your t-shirt and jeans and thinking you're a weirdo.
6. If you're lost and want directions, avoid people wearing sunglasses. They don't want to make eye-contact, so you'll just get your feelings hurt when they walk passed you. P.S. don't assume cops know directions either. They'll often point you in a vague direction and let you find your own way.
7. If you want to talk to a stranger on the street, make sure the timing is right. Catch a person when the crosswalk is just turning steady red. Most people won't start to cross, so you'll have an entire light cycle to ask a question.
8. Before going out and asking directions, do some research yourself. We live here but that doesn't mean we're Mapquest. If you ask me where 123 Something Lane is, I'm not going to automatically know. But with simple keywords of areas or landmarks: Uptown, Downtown, East Side, West Side, Times Square, etc. I can at least give you basic instructions and point you in the right direction.
9. Yes, it's true. There are maps inside the train. But those are mostly for show emergency reference. Use the maps in the stations. There's nothing more annoying than having a person lean over you and try to trace their fingers on a map, when you're sitting right under it.
10. Enjoy the city. Often what turns me off when I see tourists is when they see something or experience something in NY and they say something bad about it. Yes, we have roaches the size of half dollars. And yes, like every city, we have garbage and the homeless. But those are things we can't control. We'll do our best to be good hosts but you have to be good guests as well. I don't walk around your house and comment on how ugly your furniture is, so don't walk around my city and comment on how much you hate it.
** sidenote for post 10** New York is a melting pot of cultures. And we're not stupid. Just because you talk in a different language doesn't mean your conversation is private and no one understands. And just because a person has headphones on, doesn't mean they have music playing and can't hear you. So be careful what you say in front of people.
11. Use some common sense. You can't blame us for every bad experience you have. Sometimes it's your own damn fault. If you want to walk around Harlem at 3am with a wad full of cash sticking out of your pocket, prepare to get jumped. It's as simple as that. Don't start bashing on us saying that we ruined your vacation because you did something stupid. We won't be sympathetic. And if you did something stupid enough, we'll laugh about it straight in your face. That's just how we roll.
Okay so I know this was a really long post, but I hope that anyone who reads it finds it useful. And in case you thought this post was a little unkind or unfair to those people who just want to visit the Big Apple, don't worry. My fellow New Yorkers will be getting their own helpful hints list on how not to be a-holes later on. Until later!
Have I depressed you yet? Good.
Here's some more depressing news. I was planning on writing a wonderful post about Twitter, but unfortunately I was not able to create a suitable image to help illustrate my point. And without an image, the point is moot.
I'm sorry all. I apologize for my ineptitude. I tried. Perhaps someday I'll get my act together and install Photoshop or inDesign into my laptop. But alas, today is not that day. And you'll have to live with the knowledge that you came oh so close to knowing what my views on the site are only to have your hopes ripped away in an instant.
Can you live with that knowledge? Too bad.
Instead my friends I am going to talk about something different.
For those of you that don't know, I am from NYC (that's New York City for you geographically challenged). And many times while walking through the city, I will contemplate the difference between us natives and those visiting the city. I'm amazed at how we as a city are labeled as rude and mean. And then ponder on why tourists all seem incredibly simple-minded. These stereotypes can't be accurate, can they?
Well I have arrived at a conclusion. They are. But only to an extent. Because dear reader it is my belief that while we all may be human, New Yorkers are entirely different creatures than the average person, and therefore should be approached in a different manner. So for you non-New Yorkers, this post is for you.
11 Ways to Enjoy New York Without Pissing People Off or Getting Mocked
1. Understand this. The sidewalk is like the street, only for pedestrians. There are invisible lanes of fast walkers (99% of New Yorkers) going one way, and fast walkers going the other way. If you want to stop and look at a building, walk your ass all the way over to the edge of the sidewalk near the street. I swear, you'll get less glares if you don't block people's way.
2. On a similar note, do not stop in the middle of the street to (a) look at a map, (b) take pictures or (c) look up at the skyscrapers. New Yorkers are multitaskers. We're often on the phone, carrying coffee, holding bags, and walking 12 blocks to work at the same time. We don't want to have to be on the lookout for roadblocking tourists also.
3. If you are going to go around the city with a group of people, learn to walk like ants. Form a line of some sort, one behind the other. Too often, I will have to walk into the street and around parked cars because a group of young ladies has decided to form their own Red Rover line across the sidewalk. Please don't make me run through you.
4. Calm down with the photos. We understand New York is beautiful. But you don't need to take 15 photos of the same building in an instant. The Empire State Building isn't going to run away, nor change shape like a Transformer. So give that shutter button a break.
5. If you see something bizarre or kinda freaky, pretend like you don't. There's nothing ruder than a person doing a 360 neck-breaking head jerk to stare at someone's appearance. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate one of them looking at your t-shirt and jeans and thinking you're a weirdo.
6. If you're lost and want directions, avoid people wearing sunglasses. They don't want to make eye-contact, so you'll just get your feelings hurt when they walk passed you. P.S. don't assume cops know directions either. They'll often point you in a vague direction and let you find your own way.
7. If you want to talk to a stranger on the street, make sure the timing is right. Catch a person when the crosswalk is just turning steady red. Most people won't start to cross, so you'll have an entire light cycle to ask a question.
8. Before going out and asking directions, do some research yourself. We live here but that doesn't mean we're Mapquest. If you ask me where 123 Something Lane is, I'm not going to automatically know. But with simple keywords of areas or landmarks: Uptown, Downtown, East Side, West Side, Times Square, etc. I can at least give you basic instructions and point you in the right direction.
9. Yes, it's true. There are maps inside the train. But those are mostly for show emergency reference. Use the maps in the stations. There's nothing more annoying than having a person lean over you and try to trace their fingers on a map, when you're sitting right under it.
10. Enjoy the city. Often what turns me off when I see tourists is when they see something or experience something in NY and they say something bad about it. Yes, we have roaches the size of half dollars. And yes, like every city, we have garbage and the homeless. But those are things we can't control. We'll do our best to be good hosts but you have to be good guests as well. I don't walk around your house and comment on how ugly your furniture is, so don't walk around my city and comment on how much you hate it.
** sidenote for post 10** New York is a melting pot of cultures. And we're not stupid. Just because you talk in a different language doesn't mean your conversation is private and no one understands. And just because a person has headphones on, doesn't mean they have music playing and can't hear you. So be careful what you say in front of people.
11. Use some common sense. You can't blame us for every bad experience you have. Sometimes it's your own damn fault. If you want to walk around Harlem at 3am with a wad full of cash sticking out of your pocket, prepare to get jumped. It's as simple as that. Don't start bashing on us saying that we ruined your vacation because you did something stupid. We won't be sympathetic. And if you did something stupid enough, we'll laugh about it straight in your face. That's just how we roll.
Okay so I know this was a really long post, but I hope that anyone who reads it finds it useful. And in case you thought this post was a little unkind or unfair to those people who just want to visit the Big Apple, don't worry. My fellow New Yorkers will be getting their own helpful hints list on how not to be a-holes later on. Until later!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
First Time in a Long Time
Okay, so I apparently lied. I did not update my profile every week like I planned. Hell I barely made it through one post. For those 2 people in cyberspace out there who care, I apologize.
But alas, I am back.
Not because of a real desire to say something profound or anything. It was really just a passing fancy to do something...anything, that would keep me from passing out in front of my keyboard at my internship.
That's right people. I'm an intern. A lowly, bottom-feeding, sad excuse of free labor. Or as you non-PC people may say, a slave.
Alright, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But if you've ever been an intern, could you blame me? I have never come across a person who liked it. And if you're an intern currently and say you like it, you're a freakin' liar and can get the hell off my blog!
Did my sudden burst of anger scare any of you out there away? Good. That was my intention. Now only strong willed and honest people are reading my thoughts... So basically I'm talking to myself. Which is fine. I'm used to it. I'm an intern, remember?
I guess it could be worse I suppose. I hear stories of interns who work long hours for zero pay. Those poor slobs who are always on their feet and are sent to go fetch everything from 50 boxes of xerox paper at Staples to tic tacs and tampons at Duane Reade. But honestly, at least they're doing something. Is going to the same store 5 times in one day worse than doing nothing while staring at a clock, literally watching the seconds of your precious life pass you by?
I don't know. Ask me again when I've woken up from this coma that I call a job.
But alas, I am back.
Not because of a real desire to say something profound or anything. It was really just a passing fancy to do something...anything, that would keep me from passing out in front of my keyboard at my internship.
That's right people. I'm an intern. A lowly, bottom-feeding, sad excuse of free labor. Or as you non-PC people may say, a slave.
Alright, so maybe I'm exaggerating a little. But if you've ever been an intern, could you blame me? I have never come across a person who liked it. And if you're an intern currently and say you like it, you're a freakin' liar and can get the hell off my blog!
Did my sudden burst of anger scare any of you out there away? Good. That was my intention. Now only strong willed and honest people are reading my thoughts... So basically I'm talking to myself. Which is fine. I'm used to it. I'm an intern, remember?
I guess it could be worse I suppose. I hear stories of interns who work long hours for zero pay. Those poor slobs who are always on their feet and are sent to go fetch everything from 50 boxes of xerox paper at Staples to tic tacs and tampons at Duane Reade. But honestly, at least they're doing something. Is going to the same store 5 times in one day worse than doing nothing while staring at a clock, literally watching the seconds of your precious life pass you by?
I don't know. Ask me again when I've woken up from this coma that I call a job.
Monday, July 19, 2010
First Headache Post
So here I am everyone. Writing my first blog post. No pressure, of course, except for the fact that I have just been struck by major writer's block. On my first post! Such is the story of my life. I don't work well under pressure. And before you go and say it, I am quite aware that the number of people who will see this post is probably all of two people. But that's still two more people than I am used to. I'm not usually a blog kinda gal. In fact I wouldn't even have this page up if not for my blog-nazi boyfriend insisting that I get off my butt and start writing again. Oh, the struggles of having a supportive person by one's side. Don't worry, though. I shall overcome.
I'm going to try and write on this blog at least once a week. If you knew how hard it is for someone who has never had any kind of journal before, you would be grateful for just that. And if you're looking for any specific niche topic, you're out of luck. Topics will vary. From something I've seen on the street, to something I've watched or read on the internet, to just a general topic one of my friends pitched to me and wanted to read about. I will do it all. And why? Because that's just how I roll, yo...Okay, sorry. Will never use "yo" again in my writing. Scout's honor...Unless you liked it. Then I'll consider doing it again. But only if you ask nicely.
I'm going to try and write on this blog at least once a week. If you knew how hard it is for someone who has never had any kind of journal before, you would be grateful for just that. And if you're looking for any specific niche topic, you're out of luck. Topics will vary. From something I've seen on the street, to something I've watched or read on the internet, to just a general topic one of my friends pitched to me and wanted to read about. I will do it all. And why? Because that's just how I roll, yo...Okay, sorry. Will never use "yo" again in my writing. Scout's honor...Unless you liked it. Then I'll consider doing it again. But only if you ask nicely.
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